Thursday, May 23, 2013

I can't love them enough

SO most of this blog is about my kids! Which I guess is a testament that MY personal life isn't that exciting - - only that of my kids : ) But the title of the post actually refers to the fact that I can't even come up with enough ways to show how much love I have for them.  I can't hug them enough, hold them, kiss them, talk to them each individually & just stare them in the face for a while.  There aren't enough hours in the day for how much time I want with my kids. Especially now that Jordan is in school & I have 3 boys to take care of.  Time is NOT on my side!!! We are all so busy....and I don't mean that I'm too busy to do these things. I just mean truly, I don't have the time I'd like with JUST Chase, or JUST Jordan.  To just sit & hold them & talk & laugh.  But luckily, I have so much of my time with all 3 of them - - I shouldn't complain.  Because I stay home with them, there ARE SO MANY memories we've created as a family.  So while I'd like to sit & just have a private moment or conversation with one of them, I am so lucky just to have spent that time with them in general. 
For example, I had a GREAT morning with Chase & Levi today.  We dropped Jordan off at school (which okay, if we were never running late & if I didn't have 2 other kids sitting in the car  - - wouldn't it be great to walk Jordan into school every day?!).  Anyways, we drop Jordan off & I honestly didn't feel like going home to face all the housework.  Darn it, the laundry just doesn't motivate me! We tried to visit Grandpa Bob, but he turned us down.  So, I was driving slowly wondering what we could go do.  It was a decent temperature for Levi to be out - - and Chase just learned to ride his bike without training wheels - - so we headed for the Crawford park trails. PERFECT! 

I had coffee in the stroller, Chase cruisin' on his bike (happy as could be!) and Levi loving the scenery of a stroller ride (personally I think he's sick of sitting on the rug with those same ol' toys. If he'd just get crawling, life would get a heck of a lot more interesting! A lot more worrisome for me, but fun for him!).  Chase just rode & rode, all through the park & then down the trail to the skate park.  On our way back we say 4 deer....amazing.  Then we went back & played on the equipment.  Meanwhile, Levi had pooped all through his clothes.  So there was a SLIGHT hiccup in there ; ) And Chase got to join his cousin Trace's daycare group while they were on a field trip! They all loved that! 
Chase has been super excited & proud about his new ability to ride his bike.  He's really been refusing to ride, or somewhat unwilling to really put in the effort to learn.  We took the training wheels off late last fall & tried to get him to ride.  Since then, he's just had to walk, ride in the wagon, or ride grandma's bike with training wheels.  We thought if we kept them off, surely he'd eventually decide to learn.  After a few trips to Feelhaver & a few jaunts through the yard - - he really just wouldn't work on it for more than 5 minutes.  I eventually just put the training wheels back on.  I wanted him to be able to ride along with us & I was putting Levi in the bike seat.  So the 3 of us could go on bike rides - - FINE,  WITH training wheels.  Whatever. At least we were going ; ) So I worked HARD with the ratchet, or wrench, or whatever the tools are called.  I had to get them out like 10 different times (literally) to get them on, adjust them, move them to the other bike, tighten them, tighten them again because one wheel kept falling off.  UGH! Such a hassle! But that's what he wanted, so I kept at it hoping he'd get some confidence in riding back.  
One morning he woke up & just told me, "I had a dream I could ride a bike without training wheels".  I said, "Well then you probably can.  If you dreamt it, you must be able to now".  I just wanted to encourage that thought - - didn't care how, why, what or when! So when I had some free time with Levi occupied I offered to take him out & try riding.  We went right down our driveway, turned right, and away he went!!!! He was riding & pedaling like crazy! I recorded it & it was AWESOME! Such a proud feeling that is.  I kept saying, "Wow Chase, your dream was right.  You CAN ride without training wheels! I can't believe you knew it in your dream!".  He was like, "I did, I knew it from my dream.  My dream came true!" - - so cute! He later told Jordan (while SHOWING him how he could ride) that, "My dreams & my wishes came true! I wished for this & it came true!".  OH - so precious!!! 

Okay, so back to my title today.  It's heavy on my mind about this girl in Dayton who was kidnapped almost 5 days ago.  Aside from the torture she probably went through - - you just can't take your kids' safety for granted.  You can't assume everything will be fine.  I wish we could these days.  But there are obviously some very sickening people out there.  It's a nightmare situation I never want to experience.  So, because of that girl & her family - - I'm going to hold my kids tight, watch them closer, stay by there side a little more, go biking WITH them when they want to, go jump on the trampoline WITH them when they want, & heck even just sit outside just to watch them.  The housework is gonna have to wait....supper will get done, laundry will get folded, .  My kids need tended to - - and that's what I need to remind myself.  I know I often use their playtime as a time to let them be independent & let myself just sit, relax, get online, or even just organize my thoughts.  But it's not worth taking my eyes off of them for something nightmarish to happen.  Scary world these days.  But I'll spend my days protecting them.  All the more reason I am glad I stay home with if I need more reasons. 

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