School's *ALMOST* out for Summer!

Tomorrow should've been Jordan's last day of KINDERGARTEN!!! But because of snow days (one on May 2nd for crying out loud!) - - they go through next Thursday & Pat works on Friday. Chase is already out & spending his days with Levi & I! 
It is nothing but RAIN RAIN RAIN these days. No pool for us! yuck. periods of sunshine here & there so we can be outside, but thunderstorms almost every night. The aquatic center is technically open....but  my requirement is 82+ degrees. That hasn't happened yet.  I did get Levi's little splash pad all cleaned up & ready here at home.  Although, the zero depth at the aquatic center will be much better. We went to King's Pointe in Storm Lake this weekend.  It was so fun & even Levi got to splash around in the water most of the time.  He loved it! 

 one of VERY FEW pics of me & my 3 boys!

Before the computer goes dead (and I can't go sit by the charger b/c I'm technically at work, Apple, and have to stay by this computer in the play room).....but here's my "listen to what _____ said today" story: 

Jordan had a field trip to Dodger Stadium with the ENTIRE school district.  Which means that for the first time ever, Pat & Jordan were at the same field trip! Fun! (which meant Levi, Chase, gramma Sherry & I ALSO joined in & went too ; ) So I asked Jordan how the rest of the field trip went & if he had fun.  He just started crying....saying he was crying getting on the bus.  I couldn't believe it & asked why, he was so sad.  He said that he was so sad because he "wanted to be with dad so bad & he didn't get to be with him....he only got to wave at me, but I wanted to be with him"..... : ( Oh my goodness, that made my heart melt for him!!!! He said he just barely got to see him as Pat waved at him before he got on the bus...and that must be when he just wanted to go over & be with him - - is that just heart wrenching or what? Not that he was seriously deprived, but that he saw his daddy & just probably wanted to run over to him! But Jordan always follows the rules & expectations & would never ask Mrs. Winter if he could go see him.  So it must've really made him sad while he was sitting on that bus.  So precious....sad, but precious!!! I told Pat that story & he made sure to say something & hold onto him tonight after supper. 

I can't love them enough

SO most of this blog is about my kids! Which I guess is a testament that MY personal life isn't that exciting - - only that of my kids : ) But the title of the post actually refers to the fact that I can't even come up with enough ways to show how much love I have for them.  I can't hug them enough, hold them, kiss them, talk to them each individually & just stare them in the face for a while.  There aren't enough hours in the day for how much time I want with my kids. Especially now that Jordan is in school & I have 3 boys to take care of.  Time is NOT on my side!!! We are all so busy....and I don't mean that I'm too busy to do these things. I just mean truly, I don't have the time I'd like with JUST Chase, or JUST Jordan.  To just sit & hold them & talk & laugh.  But luckily, I have so much of my time with all 3 of them - - I shouldn't complain.  Because I stay home with them, there ARE SO MANY memories we've created as a family.  So while I'd like to sit & just have a private moment or conversation with one of them, I am so lucky just to have spent that time with them in general. 
For example, I had a GREAT morning with Chase & Levi today.  We dropped Jordan off at school (which okay, if we were never running late & if I didn't have 2 other kids sitting in the car  - - wouldn't it be great to walk Jordan into school every day?!).  Anyways, we drop Jordan off & I honestly didn't feel like going home to face all the housework.  Darn it, the laundry just doesn't motivate me! We tried to visit Grandpa Bob, but he turned us down.  So, I was driving slowly wondering what we could go do.  It was a decent temperature for Levi to be out - - and Chase just learned to ride his bike without training wheels - - so we headed for the Crawford park trails. PERFECT! 

I had coffee in the stroller, Chase cruisin' on his bike (happy as could be!) and Levi loving the scenery of a stroller ride (personally I think he's sick of sitting on the rug with those same ol' toys. If he'd just get crawling, life would get a heck of a lot more interesting! A lot more worrisome for me, but fun for him!).  Chase just rode & rode, all through the park & then down the trail to the skate park.  On our way back we say 4 deer....amazing.  Then we went back & played on the equipment.  Meanwhile, Levi had pooped all through his clothes.  So there was a SLIGHT hiccup in there ; ) And Chase got to join his cousin Trace's daycare group while they were on a field trip! They all loved that! 
Chase has been super excited & proud about his new ability to ride his bike.  He's really been refusing to ride, or somewhat unwilling to really put in the effort to learn.  We took the training wheels off late last fall & tried to get him to ride.  Since then, he's just had to walk, ride in the wagon, or ride grandma's bike with training wheels.  We thought if we kept them off, surely he'd eventually decide to learn.  After a few trips to Feelhaver & a few jaunts through the yard - - he really just wouldn't work on it for more than 5 minutes.  I eventually just put the training wheels back on.  I wanted him to be able to ride along with us & I was putting Levi in the bike seat.  So the 3 of us could go on bike rides - - FINE,  WITH training wheels.  Whatever. At least we were going ; ) So I worked HARD with the ratchet, or wrench, or whatever the tools are called.  I had to get them out like 10 different times (literally) to get them on, adjust them, move them to the other bike, tighten them, tighten them again because one wheel kept falling off.  UGH! Such a hassle! But that's what he wanted, so I kept at it hoping he'd get some confidence in riding back.  
One morning he woke up & just told me, "I had a dream I could ride a bike without training wheels".  I said, "Well then you probably can.  If you dreamt it, you must be able to now".  I just wanted to encourage that thought - - didn't care how, why, what or when! So when I had some free time with Levi occupied I offered to take him out & try riding.  We went right down our driveway, turned right, and away he went!!!! He was riding & pedaling like crazy! I recorded it & it was AWESOME! Such a proud feeling that is.  I kept saying, "Wow Chase, your dream was right.  You CAN ride without training wheels! I can't believe you knew it in your dream!".  He was like, "I did, I knew it from my dream.  My dream came true!" - - so cute! He later told Jordan (while SHOWING him how he could ride) that, "My dreams & my wishes came true! I wished for this & it came true!".  OH - so precious!!! 

Okay, so back to my title today.  It's heavy on my mind about this girl in Dayton who was kidnapped almost 5 days ago.  Aside from the torture she probably went through - - you just can't take your kids' safety for granted.  You can't assume everything will be fine.  I wish we could these days.  But there are obviously some very sickening people out there.  It's a nightmare situation I never want to experience.  So, because of that girl & her family - - I'm going to hold my kids tight, watch them closer, stay by there side a little more, go biking WITH them when they want to, go jump on the trampoline WITH them when they want, & heck even just sit outside just to watch them.  The housework is gonna have to wait....supper will get done, laundry will get folded, .  My kids need tended to - - and that's what I need to remind myself.  I know I often use their playtime as a time to let them be independent & let myself just sit, relax, get online, or even just organize my thoughts.  But it's not worth taking my eyes off of them for something nightmarish to happen.  Scary world these days.  But I'll spend my days protecting them.  All the more reason I am glad I stay home with them....as if I need more reasons. 

Time has flown - - it's 2013!

Well, I've been slackin' on the blog that's for sure!

Best news of all is our healthy & HAPPY baby boy LEVI!!! Baby was still a mystery at my last post.  He is now 7 1/2 months old....again, a testament to how long it's been since I've written ; )

He was born on Sept. 27th, 2012....another "7" baby (although, okay, fine, so I picked that date specifically.  it was a choice of dates from the 24th-28th....of COURSE I'm gonna pick a "lucky" number).  Jordan 27, Chase 14 (7x2, *also* born in July....the SEVENTH month...duh), Nicole 17 (among all of her 17's), and now Levi 27.  And while we're at it - - Melissa died on July (the SEVENTH month) 1st when I was 17. Again, coincidence....??? I think not.

And just to prove my numbers theory....which up until this next point, was just a theory b/c I am very numbers oriented myself.  When Nicole's 17's all aligned I took it as a definite sign that God was tapping my brain to let me know she was taken care of.  But THEN, the last time we went to church (which ISN'T often enough), Father Shane specifically said, "Numbers ALWAYS have a meaning in the bible....ALWAYS".  And I lit up....thank you Father Shane.  They have a meaning to me too.  What do 7's mean in the bible?? I shall look that up...soon. Just don't let it be devil's work or something crazy like that!!!! ; )

So Levi: he's an amazing part of my heart. Although it was over a year after we lost Nicole, he put a real genuine smile on my face. My heart did some healing having him.  My mom once said, early in the months after losing Nicole, that shouldn't be the end of my story.  Closing the chapter with such a heart-wrenching loss shouldn't be the conclusion.  Levi has changed that.  He is a happy ending ("ending"?! not sure he's really an ending....that is TBD) to very raw & hurting heart that I had.  I can honestly say, I look at him EVERY SINGLE day & realize what a blessing he is.  It's a dichotomy of looking at what Nicole could've been & yet how amazing Levi is.

And so begins my life raising 3 boys.
As stated above, I can't say with absolute certainty he's the end of the line.  But time will tell.  I'm not sure I can go through another pregnancy with the worry that I had after Nicole.  And when Levi got taken to the NICU shortly after birth, that was enough to shake me to my core again.  Although it was very minor & he was fine....it jolted both Pat & I.
These boys will have me running between sports, wincing at the words "poop", "fart" and "turd", cleaning up dirt, sweat & boogers.....YUCK.  And they will have my heart....despite all of that YUCKY BOY STUFF!!!! ; ) I couldn't possibly love them more.  It's incredible how different they all are....well, I mean who knows what Levi will be like??!! How exciting to find out ~~